Do you know

Its been twenty five minutes
since i've been awake
with each minute that passes
grows a smile that is fake
It'll be the last twenty five minutes
the ones before i sleep
where the pain will remind me
that my heart you still keep.

“Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them.”

Today i was told that i know nothing about good music because the last ten years of music are garbage since the increasing presence of digitized music. I was just too young and "didn't know any better". I thought this to be kind of mean because its not like ive never heard any music made prior to 1990. I do appreciate the craft of real music and do wish todays music was more artistry than technical. Its not my fault i was born with the internet and that i am almost always infront of my computer. I do feel like today's internet age has really disconnected individuals from the real physical and emotional relationships that human kinda relies on for personal evolution. We are taking for granted the skills we learn such as charisma, and interpreting others when conversing in person. Similarly we can say that when it comes to music we've lost the ability to see the beauty that come from artists making mistakes on guitar and working through them, the emotions invested into artists who sit and write each note and feel the beat in their heart the rhythm in their bones.
I do think its also ironic that even though we are of a computer generation all the older generations want to try ipods and internet and chat etc. Maybe in 30 years everyone will talk about something great that came from our generation as well, however i dont know what that would be. Lately im in a search for something, never feelings like myself or knowing who i really am, sometimes i often feel much older than i actually am. So maybe.... my withdrawal from social media, listening to older music, getting involved in creative arts is my way of trying to connect with the things that my generation is missing.

Thats the thing about people who mean everything they say, they think everyone else does too.

I hate liars. Some people dont even realize they are liars until someone tells them. I never lie, i mean i cant be sure im always completely honest but i never say things that i dont mean. I feel bad for the people who walk around constantly lying and disappointing the people around them. All that it means is that this person isnt a real person. We only know ourselves to be alive, and who we are personality wise in the reactions we get from other people. (looking glass self) So these people are not real people since everything they say is just a fabrication. To the rest of the population these people become lost, they lose their integrity and any respect we should have for them. Why would you say things you dont mean? We all know that lying just makes a bigger mess in the end that you will have to either face or clean up.
Today i was reminded that alot of people are liars, say things to settle your concerns one day, but dont think about the consequences for the next. It reminded me of something i had forgotten i already told myself a long time ago. That my friends and the people i want in my life are just people who can keep their word. That when someone says ill be there, i love you, i need you, that they actually mean it. They really really mean it its truth and nothing can change that.

“Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” F.D.R

There are moments where we feel emotional imbalance. Its never clear and we cannot explain it, but the regular contentment is not there. So we sit and we ponder the question; "what do i need to feel better?".If this situation is about someone you like, the feeling might come across as missing that person or thinking you need that person. But the feeling isn't that atall, its the fact that you've been done wrong and been mistreated according to social laws about the respect we supposed to have for one another. And what you really need is for that person to fix what theyve done wrong not just temporarily bandage it up.
I realized that sometimes we tell people 'we are okay', 'its okay', and 'im okay with it', when really it isn't okay. We cannot say that we are sad because we miss that person, "but its okay that you've done something wrong to get me there". We need to be saying that; there are rules that your not supposed to break, unwritten rules, rules where you don't wrong the people who put so much faith in you.
So are we sad about the fact that we miss someone or are we upset because the rules are being abused, or is it both?

Not all those who wander are lost.

They say some like to live in a constant state of drama or even a constant state of crisis. Maybe some of us also like to live in a constant state of uncertainty. To be honest, sometimes not knowing what you are doing with your life might be better than knowing exactly what is going to happen. What is so bad about not knowing what may come tomorrow of your actions today? Sometimes people like to move themselves into places where things are uncertain, where things can go either way just because it makes life more interesting. Being secure, settled and decided starts to define who we are by our bounded actions. Maybe some of us prefer never to settle even though inside it may be what we think we are supposed to need. Being free is potential for anything, potential for change, growth, transformation. You can decide each an every day what will happen, instead of having something tell you exactly how it will go.

TV revolution

Sometimes i start work at 630 am. Why? im not sure, but it does is give me time to check multiple blogs im following as well as get an early start on the Food Network. I now watch 8 hours of food network a day...on mute. I expect to be an expert chef by the end of the year. So far the only things ive really picked up are sweet potato french fries and how to assemble a Tuducken, which is a chicken, in a duck, in a turkey. (eew)
Anyway TV is not very good anymore, I dont know why people get so upset when their TV wont be installed today, or it breaks and can only be fixed tomorrow. Some say their kids are addicted to TV and they NEED it back. Well, atleast you are admitting you would put them outside if they would go. What do kids even watch anymore? None of the good tv shows are on anymore, i miss Flinstones and Ernie and Bert sharing a room at age 30+. I miss learning how to draw on Mr. Dressup. That portion of the show was like watching the adult learn how to paint show. (Guy with the afro, remember?). Kids would never buy into a silent ten minutes of drawing on TV.
I currently have every channel possible and I still find nothing to watch. The only fun stuff to watch is Animal Planet and National GEO, as long as its not history. This is what my kids are going to watch. They are going to be biologists by age 5, forget watching "illegal immigrant" Dora the lost explorer, like they say... GET A GPS Dora.

Lonely was the song I sang, until the day you came. -JM

Are we really never alone? If that is true then how did the word lonely even come to exist? The loneliest place I know, is the place where the most people gather in a single space. Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room? The crowded room being the internet? I find the internet to be a sad lonely space, a desolate land of endless nothing. Maybe the internet has become and increasingly lonely place for me because ive cut off most of my ties to the networking sites like Facebook and MSN, FB chat. Its kind of interesting to see who is really in your life when you don't have a screen to bring you together. I'm wondering if this transition has really changed the way i feel about the relationships in my life. But i cant go back, I cant continue to pretend that all these relationships i have with people are real just because they are on a list. Maybe it is this sad realization that the most of these "friendships" aren't real without the screen in between. I wonder what would happen to the "now" generation if they took it all away, if we had to actually speak in person, call each other, and make an effort to remember someones birthday.