Random Ramble of the (In)Sane at Bay

( i highly suggest you read this in an english accent)
Life on drugs is fun... and hard and easy, they make you kinda barmy. For one they make you kinda light headed and everything is nice and bloody merry. But they also make you right lost, in places youve been. Well mine do cause theyre not 'for fun drugs' they are for pain relief! ...right now it hasnt set in yet cause my mouth still hurts a bloody fucking lot. Anyway Ive gotten way sick of Facebook and i decided to deactivate it, its just not my cup of tea. Im much more obsessed with my email, tumblr and amazingly, i never thought possible twitter. At first they were more fun too but then i realized that it is yet again a competition for status; how many people follow you, how many people view your blog, how many people check and ask on your tumblr and most annoyingly... are celebrities going to respond to you. its exhausting let me tell you. I think i might just go back to posting as i like and see what happens on its own, although i really really would like to have John Mayer acknowledge me! Half the time im sending him my friends blogs and myspaces because they are far more interesting than my own. I dunno why i do this, alright now well sedatives are kicking in and im about out and done rambling so i best belt it up now.

“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.”

We can always questions people intentions but we never really know what they are. Sometimes people ask and pry, wanting to know things about you, - get to know you, or so they say, but are they asking because they truly care, or do they just want to play a game of measuring up?
Sometimes people ask too many questions, questions that we don't even have the answers to ourselves. This plays on our insecurities and in defense we back away, or shut that person out because they make us doubt ourselves.
But until we can really see any concrete evidence that these people are not on our side we should not push them away. Some people just don't know when to stop or how to mind their own business. Some people are also insecure themselves so are only asking because they want to see if they measure up. Point is we all have insecurities but you cant let them get to you and let people make you feel bad about something. We all have our plans in our back pockets so just tell them, 'you wait and see'.

How do we know?

There is a fundamental reason why we look at the sky with wonder and longing—for the same reason that we stand, hour after hour, gazing at the distant swell of the open ocean. There is something like an ancient wisdom, encoded and tucked away in our DNA, that knows its point of origin as surely as a salmonid knows its creek. Intellectually, we may not want to return there, but the genes know, and long for their origins—their home in the salty depths. But if the seas are our immediate source, the penultimate source is certainly the heavens… . The spectacular truth is—and this is something that your DNA has known all along—the very atoms of your body—the iron, calcium, phosphorus, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and on and on—were initially forged in long-dead stars. This is why, when you stand outside under a moonless, country sky, you feel some ineffable tugging at your innards. We are star stuff. Keep looking up.

Jerry Waxman