“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”- D.H.E

Alright so I was thinking about Jerry McGuire and his famous line "I'm not letting you get rid of me". I was wondering how that kind of tactic works. Your partner says they want to break up, you state; "I don't want to". Plain and simple, 1 for 1, equal, tie breaker nothing changes. Some might argue that the person breaking up pulls more weight because they can withdrawal. But if the other person refuses to withdraw then its still equal.

Why does no hold more value than yes?

It takes two to make a relationship, why doesn't it take two to not make a relationship. Technically the theory holds itself, however emotionally is where we might run into some issues.

It seems that many of us are in these relationships, holding onto something that doesn't exist. Fabricating it in our minds and building it up as something more than it is. He or she has let u know in many ways its not happening, it never will happen and it never did happen. So why be upset about something that does not even exist?

If it takes two to tango, then why doesn't it take two not to tango?
Because it isn't the tango if your dancing alone, it never was.

A nickname is the heaviest stone that the devil can throw at a man. It is a bugbear to the imagination, and, though we do not believe in it, it still haunts our apprehensions.

Did you ever notice that guys always get nicknames that stick. Especially in high school, and if they dont get a nickname theyre usually called by their last names. Girls never get nicknames like MRS..., BIG...., some alteration of their name... etc.

The people who are called by their last names isnt so bad, however those that are titles can be detrimental. Its can be easy if you are given a title and then you live up to that name. You become your nickname, or always have to be that nickname. As time goes on that can be bad because it holds you to that title and prevents you from changing into who you really are supposed to be.

To be honest my gf's have given me nicknames before just between us and I only have about one that sticks. At first I was a little envious that guys always get these cool names but I dont know why guys do it so maybe its better girls dont adopt that trend!

A few Thoughts

I've learned you cant Force music on people, you cant say listen to this song and hope they like it as much as you. I think is because music really grows on people. I suggest you leave the CD for them to pop in and eventually you will see they will become obsessed!

Second thought I love the people who workout on machines that aren't on! When is it okay to tell them its out of order or to press start!

Its easier if you ask people specific questions about a holiday rather than, how was it? Too much to talk about!

And its impossible to be a robot : )

Mexico

I take back my comments about all-inclusive's not being real traveling perse. However, I would still argue that there is a strong difference between finding your own way and having someone serve you hand and foot for a week.

The thing is if you participate in enough excursions and walk around an area enough you can absorb more than I thought. Mexico is way better than Cuba and Dominican Republic. This might be because there is more money there; so the hotels are nicer, the staff is more helpful and, you can walk around Mexico ALOT more than you can Cuba or Dominican republic. Seems like if there is more money put into a resort and tourism the better the resources available, Mexico is getting the most of the money. So for anyone wanting to go all-inclusive I suggest Mexico out of the three its way more worth it.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-Willian Ernest Henley

Sorry is just a board game.

I thinking about how we apologize all the time for everything. I heard once that Americans (as in all of us) are always apologizing even when we don't need to be. For example: someone bumps into you and for some reason you say sorry. Or, you're trying to get someones attention and you say "Sorry..." Why?
People who apologize all the time are expressing insecurity and anxiety. As apologizing obsessively has shown to be more prevalent than in the past we can conclude that society as a whole is more insecure, and without a doubt stricken with anxiety. People apologize before even having to be sorry for anything; "sorry this may be a bad question but..." Most of the time its just a habit. However, I believe that we should stop doing this because it undermines your credibility and confidence. Don't be sorry when someone bumps into you, let them apologize and then choose whether or not to say 'its okay'. I remember one time this guy apologized to me and I responded with 'well im watching tv so ill talk to you another time'. I think it was kinda of a shock to not hear the ...its fine... When its not! So don't be sorry OR forgiving if you dont mean to be.
Most of the time we still have trouble apologizing when we are wrong. So why are we all mixed up here? Why has sorry taken on another meaning in some cases?

Successful sales people

You know who's annoying people who talk to the room! I know a few people like this who will have a conversation with me but are talking loud enough so the whole room can hear. Now, these are not just people who talk higher than the normal deciple level but people who need attention. I dont know why people feel the need to sell themselves. You can do that on facebook im sure. Perhaps they just figure it will maybe get someones attention across the room who will say, i couldnt help but over hear...
I also feel like these people lie to make conversations more interesting. I mean are these real people? Who are you if your conversations aren't real?

Tiger

Blue Christmas lights
The floors soft threads
Diamond earring
It pricks me with more meaning
the diamond glints
I place it on the other nightstand
20 somethings are always shiny

Gaga Monster

GAGA Love Her
Please listen to the following
-Dance in the Dark
-Monster
-So happy i could die
-Speechless
-Bad Romance
-Paparazzi
-Alejandro

This girl is nuts she hits all the right spots. Music, actual talent, honesty, super down to earth, so out there, fashion and shes only 23!
I had crappy seats at her concert and there was a few technical difficulties but this girl deserves a ton of credit because she is just so spec. She also makes loving her easy as if you are a part of her community, she does call all her fans her 'Monsters'. She bares her teeth as a trademark and her music is pop, dance, and retro all at once.
She also has a great butt which she often displays.

Tricks are for Kids

I was just thinking about how we like to trick ourselves alot. For example setting the alarm thirty minutes before you actually need to get up so you can press snooze 5 times and trick yourself into thinking that those extra snoozes were your ticket to wakefulness all day.
Or setting the clock ten minutes ahead. How does that work!? Every time id look at it I would just factor in that time. Okay I need to leave at 9 clock says 9.... im not leaving, im so wasting ten minutes doing something else.
Hiding the clock at the gym, okay this one kind of works but there is alot of other stuff I need to see on that screen! Sometimes I just try to divert my eyes from seeing it. Kinda hard, i'm always disappointed when I look at the cardio machine clock.
Writing in font ten so that when you change it to twelve you magically have 3 extra pages done.
Parking on the right side of the street so when you turn the car on there's still gas.
Its kinda funny to think that we think we can trick ourselves even though we know the truth.

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.” PKD

Everyone likes to get reactions out of people. I find its one of the most effective ways of getting what you want. You say whatever you need to say to get a persons position on something. Then judging by their reactions you make your decision/move. The catch is you cant be afraid to put yourself out there for a bit in order to gauge a response. Afterward you can just take back all that you said to repair the damage.

There's also times where you can say or tell anything to someone and you don't care what their reaction is. Maybe that person will always be a friend and forgiving. For example if you tell someone off cause you get upset but you know that eventually they will forgive you, there is nothing you could say to get rid of them.

There's also times where a person just annoys you so you say all the stuff you know they don't want to hear to annoy them back. Personally I find this a waste of time and I usually find we cut these people from out lives but at times they come back because people love it. hahah, ok maybe they dont. There's a certain type of person that has to be on good terms with everyone so they always try to be friends with you. But like water and oil some people just dont mix.

Point is there is alot of way to manipulate words to manipulate people.

“A great social success is a pretty girl who plays her cards as carefully as if she were plain.”

Today the bus driver on the shuttle bus got mad at this kid cause he had a coffee on the bus. He then proceeded to stuff about ten people infront of that yellow line noone is supposed to be infront of, now that, is dangerous. Anyhow there was one girl in the middle of the crowd of people who had nothing to hold onto so this guy grabbed her and started holding her arm so she wouldn't fall suddenly, that was okay.
I guess when people are so close they can practically kiss then somehow talking just comes easy. It's probably not a good idea to get within inches of someone you don't know to strike up a conversation but the idea that people bond in hard times has always amazed me. I truly believe people prefer to be in a state of drama at all times.
There something about disaster, or lesser hard times that breaks down all the rules of our tendency to not talk to random people. Its okay though, alot of people from non American cultures say that its so hard to talk to people here cause were not very open to it. Maybe people from other cultures are more crammed into society? All this space in Canada is making us unsociable.

Drivers Education

Apparently im a terrible driver. I thought I was pretty good but my sister tells me Im bad. It seems like every time I drive someones honking or getting mad.
Honestly there is way too many grey areas when it comes to the driving rules.
Just today I decided to cross the intersection on yellow, not exceptionally fast, there was traffic, but enough room on the other side for me. A bus driver come up beside my car and started like pointing and shaking his head. It made me feel so bad. Yellow means Red is coming; so make up your mind!
Anyway I felt really bad but honestly there are COPS to make me feel bad I dont need bus drivers bothering me too. A lady, yesterday, honked at me cause I turned onto the road as she was coming down, she had her flicker on; indicating she was turning onto my street,but no! She turned like five streets after!? You cant do that I should have honked at her!
So I decide maybe ill be more careful. I was waiting to turn but there was oncoming traffic like 20 cars passing, taking longer than usual. A few times there was a moment wher ei could have sped through but maybe they'd hit me and honk so I waited.The guy behind me gets mad cause its taking me too long so he speeds around me aggressively! So I dont know?! Do you be ruthless when you drive or do you be courteous, seems like both get you in trouble. I hate driving sometimes.

Faux Friends

Sometimes I wonder why guys do the things they do. For ex: the guy at the gym who offered to bring me a pair of Giant White Shiny work out gloves (before he even asked me I noticed them from across the gym and thought to myself how ugly they were, little did I know I would soon be offered a pair of my very own)Anyway, super nice gesture. Super random gesture.

I asked a few of my guy friends why this man age, aprox: 48 would go out of this way to offer me something like that. They all said that he obviously wants to date you/see you. You know what I mean. But really are you sure? I mean he knows I have to be about 20 years younger than him, it would be so random if thats what he was trying to do.

Theres also a man at work. Hes like maybe 15-20 years older than me, he keeps asking me if I wanna talk on the phone even though i told him at the beginning of the summer no. A) you can tell hes older then me cause he wants to talk on the phone; who does that anymore? B) Why? We can just talk at work. All my guy friends say that he wants something more but I really think that its so far fetched that cant possibly be true.

So are the guys right in saying that some men will pull any stunt to see what happens? Or, do guys just want to be super nice and want to really be friends? I have a theory that males do not just want to be friends with females. Its impossible just watch "When Harry Met Sally" and you'll understand what I mean. So I dont know what to think, I do think that their approach is somewhat funny though.

(After posting this I talked to my friend about how he was asked for my number so I played the whole well give me yours and ill call you. Anyway never let that person touch your phone because I checked outgoing calls and lo and behold he called himself from my phone mid conversation. So now he has my number. So Sneaky/ Creepy)

The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.

Sometimes i just wanna break something! I dunno what it is all the sudden im set off and Im feeling outta control anger. I thought about kicking the bus stop window, i thought about hitting this random girl... but shes innocent and i dont want to hurt people. I wanna break my ipod, break my phone, something to make me feel less tense about how school made me miss the bus! Sometimes its these small things like missing the bus that set off an obviously bigger problem.

I dont even know if its anger, stress, anxiety. Alot of people have anxiety these days but i dunno if i do. I dont really know the true definition of stress. Even though you may have time to relax and go to the gym and watch tv doesnt mean you arent stressed! Because i do all those things but i think im a la max stressed out.
One indication is that fact ive been eating so much chocolate and today after class my class mates and i went to the pub and got beer and food and one guy even had to take some shots to chill out. Nothing like a drink to take the edge off.

“The busy man is troubled with but one devil; the idle man by a thousand”

I hate how people these days always have to be doing something! Even myself i find it difficult to just be. Some would consider this time wasted by being completely idle but sometimes its nice to not have anything to do.
I always look forward to Tuesday's because i don't have anything scheduled to do. However today is Tuesday and im feeling kinda restless because im not doing anything in particular. Even though i have started a paper, sent several important emails, dropped my car and my grandmas car off at the garage, cleaned the house... (seems like alot) im feeling like im wasting time. What is considered not being lazy?
Truth is every time im not busy i feel lost because i have no idea what i should do. Sometimes its nice to just do nothing even if to me that means doing all the above mentioned, which to some people might seem like alot. Truth is we can always be doing something better with our time. That doesnt mean we need to be though.

Sharing your birthday

Sharing your birthday isnt fun sometimes.

The proverbial Dog

They're so cute,
They make you happy,
You can go on walks with them,
You just found them... but you cant keep them.
Shoes are the proverbial Dog...
Unfortunately I just bought the cutest pair of shoes but they don't match the dress I bought! So im not keeping them. I would keep them but as a combined purchase its over 300$ and im not supposed to be spending that kinda of money... being a student and all. Its sad but they gotta go back.
Just like the puppy you cant afford to keep.

Public Panic

Did you ever notice that suddenly on the radio and the Tv they will have these adds that scare the shit out of you!? I dunno if any of you rememeber the one where the girl runs to the washroom to be sick and they post three questions... "Flu? Pregnant? Aids?" Are you serious!!!??? They should remake the commercial now and add "H1N1???" That kinda of stuff scares people! Its like webMD it can be really helpful but half the time its always gonna suggest the worst case scenario. It's definitely good to do some research on symptoms to present to your doctor but do not become your own doctor!

Anyway I was thinking of this today because on my way to the gym this morning I heard the second of two commercials about people who've become addicted to Meth. Theres one where a girl is talking and one where a guy is talking.

The reality is they actually send out these awareness commercials when incidences are on the rise. So im thinking... am I or someone I know gonna become a meth addict soon?!? Where is this coming from?? There must be a rise in cases for guys and girls! Anyway I heard you commercial, although its less scary than all the H1n1 awareness im ready to say no to drugs.

To be honest the whole society is run on fear. Think about a toohpaste commercial, Girls uses toothpaste and the next image shes got a husband and an ultra fantastic looking life. These commercials are desgined to make you think that if you dont use this product you wont get these things!

Beggars can't be Choosers

Whats the difference between persistance and begging? I would think that persistance is when you are trying to repeatedly get something in order to reach a goal, and begging is when youre trying to get something you can't have or shouldnt be given. The thing is you can say the same thing vise-versa so in reality they can mean very much the same thing.

Begging however probably leads people to look a little less dignified. So when my friends ex is asking her to hang out over and over should he be praised for being persistant or looked at as pathetic for continually trying after she has told him 'no' more than once on the same day.

Its a fine line, between looking like a fool and looking determined. I guess it all depends on what you're going for and how you go about doing it.

Karoshi

I just woke up from a nap because someone called me. Pretty annoying. But its a good thing they did because I probably would have missed school. Between school, work, and working out, etc I feel like I have a newborn, sleep when you can! Although I kinda of don't like taking naps because I wake up super groggy. I find you have to follow the rule: less than 20min or 2 hours to nap so you feel refreshed. If you break those rules waking up, eating and or showering usually sets you back on track.

One time I took a nap at work on my break. It was Sunday and the nap overlapped from my break into my shift a little but really it was that was the most revitalizing 25 min nap I can ever recall having. I was dying though I needed it so badly.

In Japan its actually okay to take a nap during work, in a meeting even! Okay, no snoring or actually lying on the table but your allowed to shut your eyes in silence for about ten minutes if you need to. There is a guy in my class who actually looked asleep the whole time, eyes shut didn't move but he was super genius. Anyway, I wish that some things were more acceptable in this society. Karoshi is what the Japanese call death from overwork. They often work longer hours and more days than in the West so perhaps this is why napping on the job is more acceptable.

I dont know what it is about people these days but there is never a day where I dont feel at least a little tired. Sleeping once a night is just not enough. I think that sleep needs to be prescribed differently. Like in Europe and the siesta. We as americans really need to reconsider our system.

Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.

In the last week i've been to Starbucks three times! I recently acquired a gift card and it's probably the best thing ever! Normally i don't visit Starbucks that often cause its so expensive. I like Tims but for different reasons. Tims is like your average bar that sells the standard beers and as per cocktails vodka cran. and sex on the beach. Starbucks is your swankier bar that can make you a strawberry mohito or a sour grape martini. More expensive but way more fun.

Its honestly amazing the stigma that comes with carrying a Starbucks cup. Its like you're higher up in society. I walked by a tim hortons with a huge window while carrying my Starbucks and I thought 'Don't judge me Tim people, Im actually one of you even though your coffee cost like a third of the price.' I also can drink hot stuff like ultra fast, but I thought I paid like 6 bucks for this I need to carry it around longer for status. Absolutely ridiculous I know.

But did you know that about two years ago Mcdonalds changed their coffee cups because a study showed that people wouldn't buy it, even though it was delicious, because there was a certain stereotype attached with drinking out of the Mcdonalds cup. I dont remember the cup, maybe it was kinda tacky looking. So they changed it the new one still has the 'M' marking on it but its a little more classy looking.

Its crazy how a coffee cup can mean so much. Starbucks is especially compelling as well because there is quotes on their cups! I love quotes, the ones for StarB go like this: "the way I see it...' There haven't been any I can actually remember. I do remember reading somewhere that there's like a FB group you can join called "I judge you based on the coffee you order at starbucks" The way I see it, Its probalby better to order a Mezzo non fat pumpkin spice latte no whip. Tastes the same.

“Life is a handful of short stories, pretending to be a novel”

Today I changed the name of my Blog. Some of you may be wondering why I chose this particular name and I shall tell you. I was trying to think of something powerful, captivating and interesting so i chose 'For Sale,baby shoes, never worn'. That is the shortest story ever written by Ernest Hemingway. It was created as part of a writing challenge to come up with something that tells a story, with the required beginning middle and end, all in six words. Its part of a writing style called 'Flash Fiction'. The more I understand the story the more I see it fitting for a Blog name. The entries here are meant to be short and sweet with a lot of meaning, well, most of the time. I at the very least want to get people thinking, and Ernest Hemingway's composition does just that.

I love quotes. As you may have realized alot of my posts so far are titles with quotes. Although EH's 6 powerful words are a short story and not, a 'quote', they are quite similar. I find that quotes are really useful in letting people know how you feel about something. Its short, to the point and contains all the essentials.

Recently i've found it more and more difficult to listen. Bad quality I know, but people tend to go on forever. I think that phasing out when people talk and only picking up key sentences can be a skill. I think its also because i've become extremely busy all the time making it hard to make time for long stories. So in the event of this realization I change the name of my blog and perhaps the direction of its purpose. Short, Sweet, Stimulating.

Tim madness

Tim Hortons is crazy. No matter what time I go to the one on the corner of Guy and Maisoneuve its a mad house. Lines so long they block entrances and invade the personal space of the people enjoying their 20 min time limit with their coffees.
I'll be honest there are a few times i've gone to a Tim hortons and had them mess up my order. Well more than a few...
I order "1 twelve grain bagel/cream cheese please" response: "okay so you want 7 muffins right?" im not even kidding, and neither was she.

If you try to order in English, in some stores, they dont understand ATALL. I mean, '10 timbits' doesnt translate well into french its understandable! I've gotten tea with no tea bag... hotchocolate that was mostly water.Now that I think about it I dont know why I go so often.

I think people go because they can. On a whim I decided to order coffee in my recent drive thru experience. A minute later I was wondering why I even got the coffee I didnt really want it! But the highway on the way to work practically leads into this 1.5 minute drive through making it just too hard to pass up.

Some restaurants put so much pressure you dont want to go in 'Ahem' Altaib. Others like Tim hortons will yell "hot chocolate?" for 5 minutes and still smile at the person who finally struggles through the crowd of packpack carrying, cellphone clenching students. Clearly they didnt realise Tims service is done in under 14seconds. These kinds of people are probalby not from Generation Y, were based on instant gratification. Tim hortons is our calling.

Another point is there is so many delicious things at Tims that I dont eat... I think I like to go and order coffee just so I can look at them and wonder what it'd be like to eat 20 timbits to myself... yum.
So for as long as there is a Tim hortons in our path I think its like moths to a light, were going to be unable to resist.

“True friends stab you in the front.” -Oscar Wilde

Friendships are the same as relationships. That doesn't make much sense, friendships are relationships. I meant relationships as in a relation with a possible future life partner. I say that because the require some of the same things. Attentiveness; ie. calling someone often, making time for them, being there for important dates, following up on them to make sure somewhat and so on went well, hows it going. When you break up with someone there is a declaration of the end point. It is stated and ensured to be true so that both parties know; 'Its over'. This means that they wont call you anymore, they don't want to hear about your bad day, and they don't care if you got the job or not.
Why do relationships end? Distance, change, infidelity? I think friendships can end for the same reasons; Distance: They still live 5 minutes from you, but were worlds apart in what we do everyday. Change: You and them don't have similar jobs, one of us is working on is in school all day. Infidelity: They've adopted a new friend, They spend more time with them than their best friend. They make plans with randoms but not with the people who matter.
There's a reality about friendships, that you can spend time apart and not see each other for a while or talk and when you come back there is no hard feelings. Its somewhat true that with the best of friends not checking in is not needed because you know that you will come together again. Why are we so lenient with friends and so strict with boyfriends and girlfriends? I guess its because its the same dynamic but to a lesser degree.
How do you know when a friendship is over? Even though you've tried to keep up your half of the relationship; the person seems distant, the situations have changed, different people have come into our lives, they don't call, they dont call back... they dont read your blog... they don't FB... They don't txt. Since friendships lack the declaration of the 'its over' statement. How long can someone go without dropping a line before you know its over?

“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.” -RLS

Today an old friend of mine asked me if I had any trips coming up. To that I responded; Yes in fact I do, I'm going to Mexico in December, only I don't really consider that a trip, its all inclusive its an illusion. I'll be eating American food served to me by the closest they can get to American custom.
Don't get me wrong I'm definitely looking forward to the beach and the food and just the getaway but I don't consider any 'All inclusive' a travel experience. When someone tells me they're going to Cuba for the 5th time in their life, I don't know what to say. I've been to Cuba it is a very nice beach but there's just not enough trees and animals for me! Dominican is nice too but still its just kinda boring after a while. Maybe some people can stand to lie and do nothing for hours and days at a time but I can't. What I love about traveling is how you get to pick where you are going to stay each night, how you can search the restaurants... walk for like ten miles looking for a bakery and never find it (true story). Different beaches, different people.
Regardless im counting down the time to Mexico because getting away is still getting away and there are still things you can do and see that you can't do here at home. But will I gain any more or less than I would if I had traveled Europe alone instead? Im not sure, but I'm willing to try. Sometimes all inclusive's are needed in between the bigger trips.

Pants on Fire

I got into a conversation with a friend today, about confronting someone with a question. We concluded that the person can just be honest and tell the truth, or they could lie. You also don't know if their truth is the real truth or their lie is the lie you think it is.

I cant lie, I rarely attempt it because I'm so terrible at it. I don't know why its just cause i guess I figure people already know the truth. Usually when someone asks you something that is worth lying about its because they already think its true.

Sometimes though, people lie and alot of the time people get away with it. We all die in the end anyway (grim thought, I know) but why not tell a few lies to keep things running smoothly? My friend mentioned that life's too short anyway. Which if you think about it... How much and for how long can we get away with something?

Life kinda rolls through in sections, when your older a lie you told now probably will not matter. Of course... these aren't seriously lies, im talking white lies.
Im not promoting lying, im saying that when someone lies they should question first how long this is gonna be in effect.

There is probably nothing more stressful then keeping something to yourself. I say honesty is the best policy.

“I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” -Joan Rivers

Today I was at the gym and I was looking at the people working out wondering 'if they were on the street would I know they work out?' Some might say its hard to tell depending on where you are in your program; beginning or maintenance. For example: the guy with the super hot big arms... drool... okay he works out. For girls its a little different, not many girls have chiseled arms. For people in between I think that there is a certain way people look if they work out. Its subtle but you can tell. I think that this is what makes people feel good at the gym. Just knowing they go and that must set them apart from the average. It might just be one thing; a rounder bum or maybe a strong lower back. Its those small things you have to be appreciative about. You should be happy with what you got. It's important to work out, yes, to keep up cardio and remove all those extra bagels I eat but that's about it. As long as I go Im happy, regardless of any drastic changes. When I look in the mirror I feel like maybe its just an illusion but there's small differences. Maybe its not real and Im seeing things but either way makes me happier.

Life isn't a movie...

Yesterday I went to a wedding. Right before the ceremony I asked my friend if after watching the ceremony I would want to get married too. You see, its like those movies about a dancer or about a person who plays an instrument, you always want to be them after you see them succeed in some way. So after the ceremony I found I still wasnt convinced. It was your typical wedding but still not my thing.

The groom gave a speech where he specifically said he always thought he wouldnt get married it wasnt 'his thing', but that all changed when he met the one. He said he knew the second he met her that they would get married.

I think the whole wedding was just out of perspective for me. I didnt know the families and the guests and I wasn't hearing all the conversations going on between bride and groom and family. Im sure it was without a doubt and quite obviously a completely different day for them. For me it just felt like another wedding... looked like everyother wedding.

So my thoughts are that it wasn't my wedding. By that I mean; even if did get married in the same venue had the same setup it would be really special cause it would be mine and my husbands and we'd be seeing everything from the eyes of the prize.

Sometimes watching other people get married etc.. you start to wonder where your life is in comparrison. Maybe I should change all kinds to be more on the path of settling down and getting serious. But really I dont think it happens like that it's really more like night and day. You meet someone and that changes everything.

So a wedding isnt like a movie where you cant be inspired to get married. You can always learn to dance or learn to play guitar but you cant learn to get married. You can't plan it so whether today I'm set on getting married and tomorrow its not my thing.. you never know what will happen.

It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting. ~Lemony Snicket

Yesterday was a busy day I forgot to post at the end of it. Another reason for that was I was doing something I probably shouldn't have done. Yesterday started out pretty good... I woke up and started working on school stuff. I called major construction company and got them to collaborate with me on a project, and then completed an exercise for another class. I then went to the gym and spoke with my trainer and did my program. I then went to school early worked on a project and then I went to class; good work. Somewhere along the way the night caught up with me.

By that I mean to ask; Do you ever feel like days are for good, nights are for bad? We don't drink... before lunch. We don't go to clubs in the morning. We don't swear at the breakfast table...but we might at the dinner table. Do you ever wake up in the morning and think: Oh god... why did it do that last night? Sometimes, things that seemed like a good idea last night, in the clarity of morning seem all wrong. This is why I truly believe the expression 'sleeping on it is actually a formula for figuring things out.

By night it's almost like the more shadowy places to hide the more incentive to be more shady about how I think and act. Last night I definitely did that; and now I feel kinda bad about it. I don't know if I can say that it wasn't worth it at all, because I'm not quite sure what the opportunity costs were. My alternative plan was going out for drinks, instead, with classmates. I've put them off a few times now, unfortunently. I'm not big on drinking. But last night on the way home after all was said and done... I definitely felt the need for a drink.

Time Management

Today I went to work. Told myself id come home from work and do my Assignment and then go to school to download it. Unfortunately I got about half of that done. I sort of read the instructions to the Assignment and then ended up on MSN helping classmates do their assignments.
Why do we panic about time? I panic about not having enough time all the time! The problem is, is that there is only so much you can do in a day. So many limitations. I couldn't go to school cause the PC room I need is locked at this hour. And I cant go outside to do the GPS part of the Assignment cause well its too late and dark out now. Its only 9:17 but i live in a kind of dangerous area. Anyway I think its about time management. Even though there are 24 hours in a day every hour has its limit. Many of the hours im sitting on my PC or infront of my tv trying to work out when I can get shit done. Ugh oh well.. If i've learnt anything about myself through university and this first year of masters... is that I will eventually get it done. It will happen. (actually funny I just remembered I have an assignment due tomorrow with a group and we werent able to complete it) Probalby the first time I haven't handed anything in. But this is a real time project and no companies have confirmed that they want to work with us yet.

So here i am sitting here starring at my BB wondering where all those wonderful txt'rs went for the night?? I guess it comes and goes... anyway I have to start working on something. Sorry this post is boring, ive re-written it like ten times.

How do you Blog without the Boring

Ex's always come crawling back , whether a year later or a week later they do in some way or another. Why do they do this?? I don't think i've ever thought "hmm, i think im gonna call so and so from two years ago see what they're up to!?" no lol it doesn't happen. When im over someone they are over.

This might also be because I, along with them, realize they were jerks and I was the nice one. Nice is an overall encompassing word cause im not that nice. Currently I speak to 2 of my ex's one of which we never stopped talking, and hes already has his come back moment. The second seems to be interested in the come back now. However he hasnt yet apologized for being a complete child two years ago. I dont know if he even plans to. Its like the past didn't happen. So far im not interested.

These boys are just names that pop up on my Blackberry every once in a while they are really just a source of entertainment. Other names that come up on my phone are the Charmer... Im a sucker for a good smile and hes got one. Sucks though, thats all he has to offer for now. I turned down a rendez vous with him tonight, i wanted to go actually, i got half heady showered...i dunno. But i need to be convinced into things and he wasnt to eager to convince. I can pretty much be convinced into anything. Thats my secret dont tell anyone.